I never knew that the fear of aging is like the fear of dying. One day, I woke up and I am not 18 anymore. My 18th year was the most beautiful phase of my life. The time when I felt like I can control the world. Rule people. Who can stop me from doing what I want? Theater is my world; Literature is my room; Music is my euphoria; Boys are my Romeos; Friends are my bliss; Family is my solitude; The Bible is my guard; And I can have whatever I want.
But things were suddenly kaleidoscopic. Suddenly, the world is moving away as if someone's pulling it away from me. Suddenly, the world do not recognize me anymore. Suddenly, the people can't see me and I feel like I am not existing. I can't seem to bear the fact that despite being 24, I feel so old and useless. I feel like my decisions were decisions of a fourth grader, which always fails. And I feel like nothing ever happened in my life; that my existence is worthless.
The fear of aging, like the fear of dying, will kill a person. It kills your existence. It kills your presence. And one day, no one will remember me. No one will know who I was or what I have done in this life. And I will just be another lifeless clay.
age only describe by numbers, just numbers, don't let them predict your future or whatsoever you dreamed of, you have a life to enjoy, let no one holds you back to whatever things that put smiles in your face, do not afraid as long as there's no one been hurt of what your doing, you have the right to live life to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteThank your for such wonderful encouragements.
DeleteWell, we sometimes come into a point in our lives when we will stop and contemplate on things.